With the cold of Artic Enema still in my underwear, we shook off the cold and jogged onward. About halfway to the next obstacle we approached another set of bale bonds, but not before a quick 3 foot trench. This time we wait about 10 people deep before getting the chance to jump over the hay bales. The first one was no big deal. For the second one I ran and as I was about to jump I slipped and slammed my foot into the bale. If I haven’t mentioned before, a few weeks ago when I was carrying some carpet down my stairs I slipped and smashed my toe into the wall. I thought it was broken, got an x-ray and the Dr. was unable to tell if it was in fact a hairline fracture, or if I was actually OK. My foot felt OK for most of the race, but this hurt. My toe throbbed and I felt like it was going to swell up the size of a plum. I tried to suck it up and went on to the next obstacle.
The Berlin Walls were a feared obstacle. After my issue with the 7 foot wall at the beginning of the race, a 12 foot wall didn’t seem like the most fun. I was the first one to be hoisted over so I could help the girls down on the other side. Josh and Kim B helped me over and basically were the only reason I got over. In the time of getting up, over, and landing I pulled something in my groin. I helped everyone get down and because of the groin only did 1 wall. Josh was able to get over the 2nd wall on his own and helped the girls down. I helped boost them up on the first side. Great. Done. For now.
Onto another random test. This was the wheelbarrow. You pair up with someone. Kate got on her hands and I grabbed her feet. She walked a good part of the way, then we walked to the halfway point. Then it was my turn, she grabbed one leg and KK grabbed the other. I made it about 10 ft shy of the end, and they dropped my legs. My arms were on fire.
We jogged along and I realized there was a 3rd obstacle I was nervous about. I go on airplanes, I work in a tall building and I’ll occasionally put my head against the window and stair down. There’s something about the high dive that makes me nervous. This was Walk the Plank. When we got close enough to see it in the distance I realized I was nervous about this, too. At this point however psychologically I felt very strong, and figured it’s just another obstacle in my way to finishing, I may as well get it over with. To approach it you need to climb some muddy 2×4’s, grip with your finger tips and scale the wall using the sides of your shoes. I made it up fairly quickly and got to the top. A few people went in front of me, then it was my turn. I walked to the edge and there were people beside me. There were about 6 different places along the top people were jumping from. As soon as someone would swim a few feet away from the bottom someone else would fall. Splash to the right. Splash to the left. the person to my left jumped in. the person in front of me jumped in, then it was me. Once I got to the edge the 15+ foot tall drop seemed a lot further down that it looked running up to it. the person before me was swimming out of the way when the girl told me to jump. I hesitated. I took a breath and jumped. I hit the cold water, kept my mouth closed and swam as quickly as I could to the top. Then I doggie paddled out of the water and watched the rest of our team jump. Heights fear, accomplished.
Next was the wounded warrior. Most of the people would throw someone over their shoulder, but not us. KK and I grabbed Kate by each leg and carried her to the halfway point. It was a little awkward, and you definitely realize how awesome soldiers are that carry full grown ass men on their backs during battle, when they’re exhausted and most likely thirsty and hungry. Thank you. Then we switched and Kate and KK carried each of my leg and carried me about 20 ft.
Then a nice refreshing mud bath for Mud Mile 2. This was basically just like the first mud mile. We were waist deep in muddy water with big ole worms floating around on the top of the mud water. Most of the 2 ft tall hills for us to climb had been knocked and worn down. Even the course is taking a beating at this point. Walking in mud was quite refreshing. I got about halfway when I saw KK right behind me. I waited for her and we finished the obstacle together. We were both covered up to our necks in mud, wading through the big ole worms floating at the top of the brown water. How cute.
If I’m not mistaken this was the last set of hay bales. We did em.
Great prep. This brought us to the Funky Monkey. I don’t remember the last time I did the monkey bars, especially after 10 miles of running and other random obstacles, but this was difficult. I was still wearing my gloves at the time. I was still wet from the mud mile, hay bales and sweat. I grabbed up to the 2nd bar and barely had the strength to hold myself up. The gloves almost slipped off. Jeez I thought, and my feet are still on the ground. This is going to be fun. The guy in front of me was a few feet in front of me and I waited for him to cross halfway before I started. I put my hands back on the 2nd bar, then the 3rd and hung there for a minute to adjust to my weight. I could stand to be skinnier. No time for that, the beers I’m going to drink after are going to be awesome. I took a deep breath and just went for it. I got into a pretty good groove and made it to the halfway point. I feel like at this point others on our team yelled ‘go for it mike’ and I was going for it, I felt great. then the dude in front of me was struggling. Then he fell off. At this point I questioned myself and it was a terrible thing to do. He slowly go out of the water while I dangled and waited for him to move. I started moving again but couldn’t do it, I lost my grip and fell into the water. Next time make sure the person in front of you is 3/4 of the way done before you go.
Then we got to the pull ups. They were going to contribute money to the Wounded Warrior project as long as they got at least 30,000 pull ups throughout the day. We all tried. I might’ve gotten 1.5 at this point, and amy showed us all what’s up by doing 2.75. Nice!
The cage crawl was nice. Like, relaxing. We waited about 3 minutes before we had our chance to go. You would sit down in the water, turn around then hold yourself up as close as possible to the fence and pull yourself backwards. The water was so high that if you dropped a little bit your mouth would be covered in mud water, and let’s be honest, that’s disgusting. I might have dipped my mouth in once or twice, but thankfully my mouth was closed. there were a few hold ups but it was the last relaxing wade before the final challenges.
Then it was Everest. This also freaked me out, but I didn’t realize until we were standing there watching it happen. I remember this from when we took pictures last year, people would try to run up with their muddy shoes, only to slip and smash their head, or barely make it up. I knew how little strength I had at the Funky Monkey and I didn’t know how I’d be able to pull myself up a muddy, slippery half pipe with even less upper body strength. Even worse, the line to try it was about 25 people deep so we probably waited about 15 minutes before even attempting it. What’s even worse is when you’re standing there your body is feeling everything you’ve just done to it, and all it wants to do at this point is sit or lay down. I almost considered calling it a day. Nope, I told myself, we’re almost done. You got this. I watched everyone get pulled up. all the random strangers helping people they’ve never met make it up this half pipe. People would just hold onto the rope that 1 person was holding on to from the ledge, then someone else would pull them up from their arm pits while someone else grabbed their legs and hoisted them up. They thanked each other and the person would go down the back. A few of our people went and most made it. then it was my turn. What if I slip and fall? What if there’s only 1 person and no one else to help me up? What if they let go of the rope?
Don’t worry, you got this.
I took a deep breath and ran through the mud. Once I hit the half pipe I doubled my steps and ran up about halfway, then jumped and grabbed onto the rope. “don’t let go” the guy said. “ok”, I responded. I tried to pull myself up but couldn’t. someone grabbed my arm and helped yank me up. someone else grabbed my other side and helped me get my arm around the lip at the top. “I got this” I said to myself. With whatever strength I had I tried, but i think at the end of the day they were the ones that got me up there. I thanked them, then they left.
then there I was. Someone to my right was helping someone, and someone to my left just finished. I asked him if he’d help. You could tell he wanted to finish the race, just like me, but he agreed to help. I got on my stomach and held the rope down the half pipe. I asked him if he was ready, then made eye contact and pointed to the next person in line. they pointed at me, took their deep breath then ran. They gave it all they had, they ran, got to the bottom of the half pipe then jumped and grabbed the rope. they’re in my hands now. The guy to my left reached down and grabbed them. The guy from the right came to us and helped pull them up. She got up, thanked us then went down the back. I got back down on my stomach and looked at the next guy in line. He was big. The dude to my left got ready, we made eye contact, I pointed, and he took off. “This is gonna be tough”, I thought, and held the rope tighter. He got to the bottom of the half pipe then jumped, missing the rope by almost a foot. He dusted himself off then went to the end. We locked eyes with the next person, pointed and they were off.
The determination you see in someone right as they’re starting to run is amazing. You could almost see right as the person starts running if they were would make it up. The determination. This one was going to make it. He ran, jumped and grabbed onto the rope. I held tight. I didn’t want to be the one responsible for their one shot at everest and then dropping them. They made it. My buddies to the left and right were a big help. I just held the rope.
We helped 2 more people in a similar fashion. They thanked us for our help. The dude to my left and I declared defeat. We were beat. We asked the last dude we helped up to stay, he agreed. I shook hands with the dude who’s name I’ll never know, thanked him and wished him luck. Then I slowly climbed down the back, with my gloves.
I got down, met up with our group and we all high fived. Someone started talking about how brutal that was, and what was left.
While we waited for Everest we watched the last obstacle, electroshock therapy and I winced at the thought of getting shocked in the head or back again. With the downtime at Everest I decided I wouldn’t do the last shock obstacle and would just walk around it to the end. When we started towards the obstacle something took over me. While everyone in our group was still chatting I started to jog. I rounded the corner and the obstacle was right in front of me. The announcer was telling walkers to stay to the right, runners on the left. A group of 3 guys were in front of me and I was coming up behind them. The announcer yelled at them to move. ” There’s someone coming up right behind you! Walkers to the Right! Go for it man!” I wouldn’t walk. I couldn’t stop. I had this. So what if I get shocked a few more times, I’m at the end. This is it.
I jumped into the foot of water and ran over the hills. I tried to dodge some of the wires, I know I got shocked and twitched my body, but I kept going. After 20 feet I was clear. I turned around and saw the team. When I saw KK my eyes swelled a little. Sure it sounds lame, but 3 miles in to this she was telling me how she couldn’t do it anymore. she didn’t have any strength left. Yet she stuck it out and she did most of the obstacles. Now here she is running through the last bit of electric wires and I smiled realized how much I love her. I waited for her, kissed her cheek, grabber her hand and we ran across the finish line together.
After a quick burrito we drove back to Illinois. I think everyone but me fell asleep at one point (thankfully, I was driving). We were exhausted.
Plants on the Run 